On Visiting Colleges
November 21, 2019
I received an email from a Form V parent whose son wants to start visiting colleges. The parent asked how to set up visits and what they should try to accomplish. I have a 90-minute presentation I usually do on this, but since a couple of the boys have been asking as well, I think I will tackle it here.
The parent seems to have cleared my first hurdle: “my son wants to…” It has been my experience that dragging an uninterested or recalcitrant child to tour colleges is counter-productive. When my own twin boys were little (my recollection is about two,) one of them one day decided he was ready to learn colors. He pointed at a stop sign, “red,” a school bus, “yellow.” “Blue,” “green,” even “purple,” all spot on. His brother was bemused and followed along. The stop sign was “blue,” the school bus “green.” He giggled with delight, but it was just a game. Two months later, boom! He had them nailed. They have to be ready.
“Share this experience with your son; you and he will hear and see different things, which makes great discussion fodder.”
Where to go?
At the beginning of the process, choose convenience. If you are going to visit grandma in Ohio, tour Kenyon or College of Wooster or Miami University. If your son is going to be home over Spring Break, he could visit Columbia, NYU, Fordham, Fairfield, Drew, and SUNY Stony Brook. Expose him, and yourselves, to a variety of institutions; that is my College Trip model, designed to spark inquiry and investigation. If your son wants to see Duke, take him to Wake Forest and Elon, as well. If you’re traveling to Southern California, don’t just go to USC and UCLA; visit Occidental and Redlands and UC-Irvine. If you want him to see Harvard and you’d like to make a trip out of it, what could you add? Yale and Brown, sure. But why not Brandeis, Clark, Connecticut College, Trinity, Wesleyan, Holy Cross, BC, BU or UConn? Pick a mix.
And when?
Probably not before Form IV, at least not in earnest. Prior to then, you are in the realm of aspiration, not fit. As for calendar opportunities: Martin Luther King weekend. President’s weekend. Spring Break. Memorial Day weekend. Summer. The week before Labor Day and Labor Day weekend. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, if you can travel. Fall Break weekend. Saturdays. Just avoid school days; he has to do well enough in his classes to get into the schools you are taking him to see!
A typical visit consists of an information session and a campus tour, each about an hour, and most schools have both a morning and afternoon session. That means that you can usually visit two schools in one day if they are under an hour apart. Try to have lunch in the campus dining hall. It can be a terrific way to sense the pulse of the institution.
You should make the travel arrangements and plan out the visit schedules, but if at all possible, your son should arrange the visit details at the individual schools. That involves going to the web site, clicking on Admissions or Apply and then Visit and following the directions. Some schools ask students to register, others just say show up.
Avoid whirlwind tours if you can. (If it’s Tuesday, this must be Bowdoin!) Impressions blur. Take pictures. Take notes. Ask questions. Listen. Talk. Put away your phones! The number of parents I see on their phones while on tours is disheartening. The kids notice and so do the tour guides. Share this experience with your son; you and he will hear and see different things, which makes great discussion fodder.
Notice things. Are there bicycle racks? Are there bicycles? Are there comfortable study spaces? Are they utilized? When you walk into a building with a large atrium, listen. Are the acoustics peaceful? Pleasant? Look at the landscaping, and the trees; colleges have magnificent trees.
Pick up a copy of the school newspaper. Look at the bulletin boards. What sorts of activities are available? Students from New York City independent schools, especially one as small as Browning, have this sense wired into their brains that academics happen “inside,” by which I mean in the school buildings. Everything else: athletics, drama and music productions, the movies, and, of course, parties happen “outside.” Then they visit Middlebury, or Williams, or Skidmore, or U Conn, and there is no “outside!” Their 17-year-old boy brains draw the conclusion that nothing of any interest (or fun) could happen here. They need to realize that all of those activities take place, but “inside,” on campus.
One question that is always fair to ask and that many admission reps and tour guides will often answer anyway is “What are your most popular majors?” It’s not a particularly useful question, however, because the answer, in most cases, will be some subset of: English, Biology, Political Science or Government, Economics or Business Administration, Psychology, or Communications. It does not usually help distinguish schools from one another. The question I ask is “What are your hidden gems, those little departments that are just awesome?” This often provokes rumination; it’s not on the standard list of talking points. Answers might include: Classics, Creative Writing, Peace and Justice Studies, Neuroscience, or Physics, a much more interesting list. Ask a tour guide: “What was a class you took that surprised you?”
Savor the time together. Ask your son questions and then listen to the answers. Help him figure out what might matter to him and what might not. And keep reminding yourself that you are looking for a school for him.