Looking Beyond the Scoreboard to our Values
We want students at Browning to explore their passions, develop purposes, and build relationships and identities across a range of activities. If we are to have a healthy school, and healthy boys within it, we must offer and celebrate a variety of student programs, from jazz bands and Shakespearean dramas to robotics squads and social impact commitments. We cannot fall into the trap—one which claims so many schools nationwide—of assigning boys opportunity and status only through athletics.
But that recognition absolutely shouldn’t preclude us from celebrating sports, too, because they can be so fun and so important to a community and its culture. Browning saw this clearly last Friday, when our varsity soccer team took on the top seed in the NYCAL semifinals on Randall’s Island. It was a cracking, back-and-forth match, with real skill from both sides: Brave goalkeeping, creative and selfless runs, strong tackling, delicate ball control. In the end, the Panthers came out on the hard side of a 1-0 result, a difficult way to conclude both a hard-fought match and an excellent season.
When I was a young athlete, I was suspicious of anyone who seemed too eager to reach for moral victories in the wake of numerical losses. I can still sympathize with former Jets coach Herman Edwards’ insistence that “you play to win the game;” indeed, if they’re going to keep score, we might as well try to get more points than the other team. But we should also remember that there is more than a scintilla of truth in cliches about the scoreboard’s inability to capture certain kinds of victories.
“For 80 minutes of play, the connection between athletes and peers and faculty and families was almost tangible, and yet another reminder of what a special community this is, especially when we can gather to celebrate the excellence of our young men.”
Friday’s contest testifies to the fact, for to be fieldside for the playoffs was to see some of the best elements of Browning’s culture. As befits a school that values dignity, the sense of respect shown for the game and its participants was palpable. The brigade of parents who came to cheer their sons did just that—they cheered, rather than traffic in any of the loud second-guessing of coaches or referees that so often mars youth sports. Our side played hard, but cleanly, and I was delighted to see the handshakes and pats on the back offered to opponents after a hard challenge or unintentional collision. And they were buoyed by dozens of their peers and a wide variety of teachers, all of whom had delayed their weekend and made their way through Friday afternoon gridlock to root our guys on. For 80 minutes of play, the connection between athletes and peers and faculty and families was almost tangible, and yet another reminder of what a special community this is, especially when we can gather to celebrate the excellence of our young men.
For me, though, the most poignant and most affirming moments actually came after the match, when our student body drifted across the field to connect with our exhausted and disappointed players. It was a scene not only of commiseration, but also of real admiration, uplift, and recognition of what had been accomplished, even in defeat. Embraces and kind words helped reshape sad countenances into knowing looks and occasional grins; from my vantage point, it was as if the entire Upper School gradually came to understand and appreciate the importance of what had happened during the afternoon. A game had been lost, but a community and its values had assuredly prevailed. As he surveyed the grand encounter, a recent alum turned to me and said, “I am so proud of the culture that we can have.”
In my office at Browning, I have a framed photo of the 2016 Grade 5/6 soccer team that was gifted to me that autumn. It’s a lovely snapshot of players arm-in-arm, and beaming with exuberance and togetherness—even in their relative youth, they seemed to intuit and express the most important and enduring values of their school. The players in this photo were also vital members of this year’s varsity squad, and it is both heartwarming and inspiring to realize that their exuberance and togetherness, their intuition and expression, continue to exist not only within our soccer program, but are reflected and embraced in our entire school community. We play to win the game—and we know what the truly important victories are. I, too, am so proud of the culture that we can have.