Pausing for Reflection in the Age of Social Media

I’m not breaking news by noting that social media does not generally inspire participants to talk about the errors they have made in judgment or what they have learned from being open to mistakes. X, Bluesky, Reddit, Meta and the like tend to be places where opinions of all kinds—often lacking nuance or corroboration—are ensconced as triumphant, unassailable facts of the matter. And admitting that one is wrong is a non-starter, since an entire mediascape stands ready to pile on. The overall purpose of social media posts is seldom to inquire, let alone collaborate, or contemplate; the aim is too often to own, to troll, to dunk, to brand, to judge, to grandstand, to win. Closer to home, and unfortunately so, social media’s status imperatives can intersect with the tendencies of boys and men to erode the values and the aspirations that give Browning its community and its purpose. 

In a 2017 study, researchers from Caltech, Wharton, and Western University in Canada found that when completing a cognitive reflection test, men given doses of testosterone offered quicker incorrect responses and were slower to arrive at correct answers than a male group given a placebo. The academics theorized that the additional testosterone either discouraged participants from checking their work or increased their confidence that their intuitive reactions were correct; either way, the researchers concluded that the testosterone had a clear effect on subjects’ cognition and decision-making.  

Now biology is not destiny, and self-assurance is not a crime. We do well, however, to recognize that boys’ hormonal composition may not always or immediately dispose them to self-reflection, to revision, to intellectual humility. If these are qualities that we wish to encourage—and at Browning, they are essential to delivering our mission—we have to take responsibility for creating environments and activities where these habits of mind are encouraged, practiced, and rewarded.   

And we must also be clear-eyed about what that takes. Those of us seeking to foster the growth of reflective, responsible, relational boys are confronting some hardy, interlocked opposition: Hormonal energy that can initially urge impulsivity and intuition over patient cognition; narrow notions of masculinity where manhood status demands assertions of bravado, invulnerability, and willfulness; and a social media playground which champions declaration over dialogue, self-congratulation over self-examination, and virality over authenticity. These are not conditions that are necessarily conducive to guiding boys to lives of honesty, curiosity, dignity, and purpose.

But these aren't insurmountable conditions, if we are intentional and aspirational in the stories, experiences, relationships, and activities that we present to our boys. A deeply relational teacher who wields a pedagogy that requires student collaboration and deliberation will, with time and care, counter any student tendencies towards overconfidence and overreliance on intuition without robbing the boy of his singularity and his spirit. A school that offers an understanding of boyhood where compassion, listening, and empathy complement courage, action, and independence is more likely to produce whole, secure young men who can resist shallow performances of masculinity. And students who are immersed in such teaching and modeling will eventually recognize the power of changing one’s mind, the upside to admitting one’s errors, and the rewards of open, genuine engagement with real-life conversation partners—characteristics not of online one-upmanship, but of trusting personal relationships grounded in dialogue and mutual regard.   

Instincts, intuitions, desires: These are vital parts of living, and our full humanity cannot be realized without them. But that same humanity is threatened when our emotions are not harmonized with the cultivation of discernment, cooperation, and self-reflection. There are any number of forces—natural, social, media—which can threaten this harmony in growing boys. This is where we believe that a Browning education, with its emphasis on meaningful relationships, pro-social values, and intellectual character, is uniquely capable of helping boys find safer, more secure developmental ground during a time of particular challenge.